Real Talk My Favorite Colleague Started Bad-Mouthing Our Coworkers

Real Talk My Favorite Colleague Started Bad-Mouthing Our Coworkers I have a colleague who Ive been friendly with and recently, shes started really criticizing otzu sichbeis we work with, one FGBer wrote to the Community.The tone of our coffee break chitchats has gotten very negative, and Im elend sure what to do because I really am feeling uncomfortable with the negative gossip. I am not really sure whats behind the gossip since some of the people shes talking about dont really seem to be close to her. I do ansturm across the people she talks about from time-to-time, and its starting to color the way I look at them. How do I tell her Im not comfortable hearing this stuff? How do I get her to stop? I really dont care about peoples personal lives in a workplace context, the FGBer continued.Other FGBers responded offering their own experiences and advice. A few women recommended being honest with the colleague.Just be straight up Tell her youre not comfortable, and to please stop. To me , when people gossip, its usually because they feel left out. No time for negative. You can pick and choose who to be around. one woman wrote.Be wary, another warned. You dont want to be identified as being part of a negative crowd. Stay friendly, but redirect the conversation.I would tell her the negativity youre not keen on, a third wrote. Say you are trying to reflect on more of a positive outlook on people, topics and the general day.Addressing the issue and the colleague in the right way is important, as you may worry she will turn on you and begin to say negative things behind your back in the workplace. It is important to be honest and express your hesitation to hear or engage in gossip, but you must do so in a way that does not seem to attack the coworker.One FGB woman offered her advice on how to specifically address the issue in a graceful way.One graceful tactic you can try is to simply question her tone in a truly authentic and empathetic way. You are curious about why s hes doing this, so ask. For example, she might say Can you believe Stacy got a promotion? Its so surprising considering some people are saying she might have a drinking problem. And you can say Good for her. I cant imagine the difficulty in balancing a challenge like that with your professional life. Do you really think she has a drinking problem? Id be hesitant to bring that up without any evidence... nor is it really any of my business.This FGB woman offers a great way to address the issue. Offer words of positivity to combat her negativity, and then politely imply you are not comfortable with an accusation that has not been proven to be true.Another important factor in this conversation is the reason as to why the coworker suddenly wants to engage in gossip, when it seems she didnt have this desire before.One FGBer highlighted this, saying, You mention that your coffee break chats have changed. If you consider her a friend, you might ask her what has changed for her. Is she sudde nly less satisfied at work? You could tell her you are concerned about her and support her positive exploration into what would make her feel better. Listen and make it about her.We agree with this Fairygodboss womans advice. Gossiping and negativity frequently derive from insecurity. Your workplace friend may be experiencing issues at work, or even in her own personal life, that could be affecting the way she views and talks about other people and colleagues. And even though she may be engaging in behavior that upsets you right now, it is important to check in on her and ensure she is okay.Sign upto ask your own questions to the FGB Community.